Welcome back to the podcast. It is a brand new year, and that means I've been reflecting on last year quite a bit, and I'm sure you have too. I bet that there are some lessons that you've learned. I know for me, it was a really big year in many, many ways, and I can say that without a doubt, the rest of my life will look differently because of the lessons that I learned. One thing that I learned about lessons is that you can look at something as a failure or you can reframe it as a necessary lesson that you needed to learn in order to be successful. So all of these lessons are a part of my journey to get to success. I don't look at any of them as massive failures or anything that I would even want to change. Maybe I wouldn't have wished for them outright, but knowing the lessons that I learned, it makes it all worth it.

 

So here are the lessons that I learned. 1st, even when you think you're playing big, you can go bigger. Playing big or small is relative, and it's likely that what was once big and scary and uncomfortable is now small and safe. I thought I was playing big, But when I really settled in and looked at what was going on, I realized I was still playing small. And playing bigger was going to require that, first, I dreamed bigger. So this year, I really up leveled my dreams and the actions that are gonna be required to get there. I decided that I wanted to make an impact on a much larger scale than I ever thought before. I was really good at being the best kept secret.

 

And I liked it that way for a long time. But all of a sudden, I had this fire in me to step into the spotlight, to really desire to be known and not because I wanted to be known myself. It wasn't for fame or this idea of being in front of everyone. Because honestly, I would avoid that at all costs if I could. But what I realized is that stepping into the spotlight And becoming more known is worth it if I can help more women pursue their dreams. That's what I wanna do. I wanna help more women fulfill their potential, accomplish these incredible things, build a business and a life that lights them up. And the only way for me to do that is to get a little more uncomfortable and step into the spotlight.

 

So I decided that's what I needed to do. And, again, that was really scary. This kind of up leveling requires some serious work. And so in 2018, I put in a ton of time focusing on my mindset. I had to get over some, not just some, a lot of discomfort in sharing my own story. What it means for me to stand in the spotlight is to open up and become even more vulnerable, to share all the good and the bad that's happened in my life, to open myself up to criticism and rejection on an even larger scale. And I had to work through some of that. I also had to look at my strategy.

 

This up leveling required that I take on a new approach. If I'm going to scale my business the way that I now know that I will, then I've gotta relook at my services and my offers and my marketing approach. And so that's exactly what I did. I also realized after years of thinking that I was gonna keep this really small, that now it was gonna require that I had a team. That's something that I never really envisioned for my business. I thought that I'd have a very small team of contractors and never considered that I would actually want to build a larger team. And now I know that that's the direction my business is headed in. So again, playing bigger first requires dreaming bigger.

 

And even when you think that you're playing big. You may not be. You can go bigger. What does bigger look like for you? The next lesson that I learned is that more equals less and less equals more. You've probably heard the whole less equals more quite a bit. I know that I had, but this more equals less was new to me. This year, I got really excited about and also distracted by I have 3 new programs that I dreamed up. As a visionary in my business, I have absolutely no limit of ideas.

 

I had to learn how to park those ideas, repurpose them, or simply say no. I learned that creating more offers actually meant spreading myself too thin, splitting up my marketing efforts and confusing potential prospects or even cannibalizing my other programs. So I canceled launches after sales pages and marketing content was ready to go. After paying others to actually work on this stuff. It's not just simply that I created things. I actually paid people to help me prepare for launches and then realized I was going down the wrong path. A strength that I have is being able to see further in the future. I'm very strategic and futuristic, but sometimes I get so caught up by the ideas and the excitement of those ideas that I ignore that bigger picture of where things are headed.

 

And so once that set in, I at least had the courage to call it before I went too far. Some people, once you start something, you keep going just because you've already started. Even once you realize it's maybe not the best idea, you've already invested time and energy into it, and you keep going anyway. I at least decided to call it quits before investing any more time or money. I realized it was the wrong decision and switched gears. I actually had to email people who had said yes to my program already to let them know that I was changing direction, that I was no longer going to be offering the program that they wanted to sign up for. And, of course, I invited them to something else, but that was a big moment for me. That required me to pull up my big girl panties, take responsibility, and realize the importance of doing less.

 

More equals less. More equals less money, less time. Trying to do more, trying to do all the things doesn't work in your favor. It just simply doesn't work. So When I do have ideas now and even the ideas that I had for those 3 programs, I just shifted and repurposed the content. I decided to use that content to serve the clients that I already had, to better serve them, to give them more. And I realized that I already had everything I needed to scale to 7 figures, everything. I don't need to create another offer.

 

Everything that I already have can be used to scale my business to 7 figures and beyond. I don't need any other offers. So when I get new ideas, it's okay. I'll park them. I will repurpose them, or I'll simply say no. And I'll keep in mind that not only does less equal more, but more equals less. And so it's really important for me to protect my time, my energy, my business. Another lesson that I learned is to stop saying someday, even someday soon, and that's the key.

 

I knew not to keep saying someday, but there was, for some reason, this subtle difference in my mind thinking that someday soon was okay. I kept feeling like my next breakthrough was almost here. But just outside of my grasp, it was only a matter of days or weeks, maybe a month away. I kept feeling like it was right in front of me, but not here yet. So I worked harder to get there, but it wasn't at all about how hard I worked. If I was operating out of the belief that it was coming versus it was already here, then it doesn't matter how hard I work. I could work myself to death with this idea that it was coming. I had to shift and realize that it was already here.

 

It was mine for the taking. So I started acting as if it were here, and I did things before I felt ready. In June, I hired an assistant. I made that commitment. That's a big commitment when someone's livelihood depends on you, when you know that they're going to depend on the income that you're gonna pay them every single month. And that you're not just committing to a project, but an ongoing partnership. That was a big step for me. But what I knew is that if I had that commitment, I would definitely follow through.

 

I would make it happen. So I hired the assistant in June. Then as I had some of the breakthroughs about playing bigger and getting my message out there, I realized it was time to start a podcast. I had been dreaming of starting a podcast and kept saying someday, but I realized I needed to do it now. So I started making plans and officially launched at the beginning of October. And then in November, I did something that felt really crazy to me. And that is I started booking in a monthly photoshoot. I'd had some brand photos taken before.

 

And, quite frankly, I've never enjoyed that process, never, before I started doing it more regularly. I put so much pressure on a single photo shoot and scrutinized every photo of myself. But I realized that if I am going to take this business where I wanna go, then I need to start acting as if right now, and I need more variety. I need more photos of myself that aren't quick selfies, and I need to make that commitment to show up, to get more comfortable with myself, to get comfortable in front of the camera, even more comfortable than I had been before. It's easy when it's just your head on a Facebook live or a selfie that's close-up. But showing more of my body from head to toe takes courage, because I'm not 100% in love with my body. It takes a lot of courage, but I'm doing it. And now I've had several photo shoots and Several more coming up.

 

And now I love getting these photos, and I'm able to use them across all of my platforms. And everything looks so much more professional. And my confidence is building. It's building as I share my message, as I put myself out there, And as I act as if that success is already here. I'm no longer saying someday soon. I'm not banking on that next launch. I'm banking on what I'm doing today, and I'm acting as if right now. The last lesson that I wanna share with you that I learned in 2018 is that asking for help builds relationships.

 

Now, I am fiercely independent and can figure out most things myself, so I've often hesitated to actually ask for help. I would actually say it's a weakness of mine. I don't like to ask for help. I love that I'm independent. I think that's a strength in many ways. But one of the ways that does carry through as a weakness is trying to do it all alone. And so this year, it really helped me to learn this other benefit to asking for help. First of all, I don't think asking for help is a weakness.

 

I think it actually is a sign of strength. But for me, that wasn't enough to actually carry through. And so there was this other benefit that I learned about how asking for help actually helps build relationships that made it worth the while. I learned that there's an even greater benefit than the help itself. The help that you get when you ask for help is great, But the relationship that builds out of opening yourself up and getting vulnerable is incredible. And I have 2 examples for that. The first example is with my biz bestie. Tanya and I met when we were in the same coaching program.

 

We both had the same 1 on 1 coach for a while, and we were able to meet each other through the mastermind we were also a part of. And at first, I wasn't sure that I would ever really get along with Tania. It's hilarious looking back. We actually talk about it quite a bit. But over time, After taking the time to actually meet one another and then to ask questions, we started to bond. We got really vulnerable, shared what was going on behind the scenes of our business, the things that, you know, that are really hard to talk about. And we asked each other for help. We decided to become accountability partners and to meet every single week.

 

And we did that for all of 2018, and we're still going strong. And we went from 2 people who had the same coach, but no interest in really getting to know one another, literally. She thought I was so quiet and reserved and prim and proper. And I thought that she was wild and crazy and just talked too much. That was literally our first impressions of one another. I did not think we were gonna get along. But now after all this time, we not only have become biz besties, but we've actually become real friends. She actually just came down and celebrated Christmas with us.

 

She spent several days at her house over Christmas and hung out with us here. It's amazing how that relationship transformed over the course of a year. And it all started by taking some time to actually ask one another for help. Then I had another situation that happened. In August, I went to Los Angeles, with Tania, by the way. Got to see her in person again, which was awesome. But while there, I broke my arm. This was huge for me because breaking my arm, especially my dominant arm, meant that I had to ask for a lot of help, a lot of help over the next weeks months.

 

I learned to ask for help from my husband. And quite frankly, I think it may have saved our marriage. The fact that I wasn't completely independent and doing my own thing and actually needed him changed things for us. I'm guilty of saying things like, I don't really need you. I want you in my life, but I don't really need you. And I meant that as a compliment. I really did. To me, that means that I want you in my life, but I realized that there's nothing like actually depending on someone, like actually asking for their help, needing their help.

 

And where things had been a little bit rocky. And I've talked about that in other places, So I won't get into all of the details here, but things started to shift. And so that was a turning point for us. And it's crazy how something so painful can actually bring good. I hope that hearing all of these lessons was helpful for you. Remember that you have the choice to define something as either a failure or a lesson to help you succeed in the future? Which will it be for you?