Kathryn Binkley:

In the last episode, I talked about how to figure out what you want. But what about when you know what you want and feel like you have to ask for something in order to get it? Well, there are 2 things that I bet you're asking for in your business or you think you need to ask for in your business that are holding you back? Let's dive into what those 2 things are so you can stop because you don't need to ask for them ever again. Now first, I wanna share a story with you. I was feeling a little bit sore after a trip to the amusement park with my son. I'd spent a day walking nonstop and riding rides that were jerking my body in every way possible. Right? And I had an I loved it. I rode the fastest and tallest roller coasters that were there. I did everything and loved it.

Kathryn Binkley:

But the next day, I needed a massage. I wanted a massage. And so I kept thinking to myself, Man, I would love to get a massage. And I kept thinking it and thinking it. But for the longest time, I didn't do it. I went on into the afternoon, and it kept crossing my mind. But I I hadn't actually gone to get the massage until I was talking to a coach of mine? And she said to me, what are you waiting for? If that's what you want, go do it. Like, why are you doing it? And I realized That I was waiting and holding back because I felt like I had to ask permission.

Kathryn Binkley:

Or If I didn't ask permission, I felt like if I just went and did that, then I'd then have to ask for forgiveness. Now My husband wouldn't really care if I spent the money to get a massage, and so there's really no reason I had to ask permission or forgiveness. But I kinda felt guilty about it. I felt like, well, he's at work, and this is during the day when typically I would work. So why would I take time out and go get a massage? It's just something I felt guilty about. But in that moment, I realized, heck no. I'm not gonna wait. Like, this is what I want.

Kathryn Binkley:

Why wouldn't I do it? So I immediately pick up the phone, and I called the local spot. And I asked if they had any availability. And they had an opening in half an hour. Now I was actually out and about grabbing lunch. And so The crazy thing is I was going through a drive through and hadn't put on makeup and all of that stuff. Now who cares? Right? Well, for some reason, I did. And I thought to myself, 30 minutes? Like, I would have no time to go home and get freshened up and cleaned up. And I'm like, it's a massage.

Kathryn Binkley:

Who cares? So I did it. I booked it. And And it's like, I'm not gonna feel like I need to be all dressed up to go to the spa to get a massage, and I'm gonna do it. And I'm not going to feel like I need to ask permission from my husband or apologize later for going. I'm just gonna enjoy it. And so I did. And it was the best thing ever. It was the most relaxing massage.

Kathryn Binkley:

I loved it, and I'm so glad that I went. So later, I told my husband that I went, and I told him with a different tone than I think I would have before. Before, I might have Kind of salt or kind of shied away from wanting to tell him. Maybe I wouldn't have even told him. Who knows? But I did. And I just said, hey. You know what? Decided I wanted a massage, and I went and got it. And you know what he said? He was like, okay.

Kathryn Binkley:

Great. That's awesome. He didn't care. All this time, I made it into something that was such a big deal? I thought he would react a certain way, and that he would feel like maybe I shouldn't go while he's working, but he didn't care at all. He didn't care at all. So how does this relate to business? Well, I wonder what you're asking for. What are you asking permission for right now that you don't need to be? Because you don't need to ask for permission from anyone else to do something in your business. You don't need to ask your husband unless you want to, your coach unless you want to, your friend, your family? The list goes on and on.

Kathryn Binkley:

You don't have to ask anyone. And then even when you do, because you want to, you don't have to listen to the advice. Right? You don't have to ask permission? You don't need to ask permission. You don't need to ask permission to go after your goals. You don't need to ask permission to make a change in your business, to perhaps something completely to start over? You don't need to ask permission to do things differently than the norm. I had a client just a few weeks ago, and She was really dreading doing a webinar. She wasn't gonna do one. And when we got into it, and I kind of asked, well, what's going on? Like, why are you avoiding doing a webinar? And I realized that one of the reasons was because she didn't really feel like making all of the PowerPoint slides that would go into it.

Kathryn Binkley:

And I was like, well, then don't make slides. You can do a webinar without slides. Just because a lot of other people use slides doesn't mean that you have to use slides. Do it without it? And she did. And she said it felt great. You don't need permission to do things differently. You don't need permission to offer something new or offer something similar. You don't need permission to talk about the same topic of someone else online? Too many times, I see clients or I hear clients come to me and they say, well, so and so is talking about that.

Kathryn Binkley:

Who cares? You talk about it, and you talk about it the way that you want to. You don't need permission. You don't need permission to charge more money. You don't need permission to take time off, and the list goes on and on. Now the other thing that you might be asking for or you feel like you need to ask for and it's holding you back is forgiveness. And we're talking about in business, and you don't need to ask forgiveness for offending someone unintentionally? If they're on your email list and they don't like what you have to say, they can unsubscribe. You don't need to ask for forgiveness. You don't need to ask forgiveness for communicating too much to your audience or too little, whatever those mean because those are relative? You don't need to ask forgiveness for speaking your mind.

Kathryn Binkley:

Curse if you want to. Who cares? You don't need to ask permission for canceling a discovery call. Oh, this is a this is a big one. When clients come to me early on and they're starting the booking discovery calls? They feel bad for saying no to someone when they're offering something for free. They're offering a free call and someone applies. They clearly didn't read the page with the instructions for who this is for because it's not their target audience at all, and they feel bad for canceling it. They feel bad for reaching out and saying, I'm sorry, but you're not my target audience, and I'll be canceling this call. But you don't need to ask forgiveness for canceling a call when it's not even your ideal client.

Kathryn Binkley:

You don't need to ask forgiveness for raising rates on a client upon renewal. You don't need to ask forgiveness for not choosing to renew a client? If they were a client who was a pain to work with, you have every right to choose not to continue working with them, and you don't need to ask for forgiveness? You don't need to ask forgiveness for not offering a discount or for keeping your word when you say that an offer buyers and someone comes in a day later, a week later, a month later, and they're upset because it's no longer available, the spot is filled, or the price is higher? You don't have to ask for forgiveness. Stop saying you're sorry. You don't need to apologize. You don't need to say you're sorry for setting boundaries and for not answering your clients immediately? And, again, just like with permission, this list goes on and on and on. So the bottom line is It's your business. You get to make the rules. I love reminding my clients of this.

Kathryn Binkley:

It's your business, and you get to make the rules. Sure. There are best practices. Yes. If you ask me my opinion, I'm gonna give it to you. And absolutely, some things have been measured and proven? But so what? But so what? If you have asked and you know the answer and you still don't wanna do it that way? That's your choice, and that's okay. It's great to have a coach or a mentor to ask opinions of, but you don't have to do everything they tell you to do? Might sound crazy, but you know what's best. You can ask opinions, but that doesn't mean you have to follow everything.

Kathryn Binkley:

You get to decide. You don't have to ask permission, and you don't need to ask for forgiveness. So what have you been asking for permission to do? And what have you avoided because you felt like you've had to ask for forgiveness if you were to do those things? Take some time, think about it, and stop. It's time to stop asking. You're the boss, and you make the rules. Remember that, and I will see you next week.